The Armchair Reader: Cold Hands Receives 5 Stars

Cold Hands received 5 stars from Cole Riann at The Armchair Reader. Again, the review is very carefully composed and Cole put a lot of thought into it. I love such reviews ^.^

Snippet:

"The real difference between the first story and the second isn’t the point of view, but in the focus of their relationship. If you look at these stories together as one, then this story is the payoff. The first was the setup, the background and the premise — the meetings in the dark with Casper’s “secret admirer” and the subsequent reveal of his real identity — but, Cold Hands is the meat and bones of their relationship. This story carries on to peel back the layers and find out if these guys have a solid base to build any relationship upon and how they go about doing that." To read the rest, please visit The Armchair Reader.

Back to School Bash!

Sure, school started almost a month ago, but we like to throw a bash anyway! Welcome to the No Boundaries Press's Back to School Bash where I'll be offering an e-copy of one of my College Fun and Gays stories. If you already have it, you may choose from one of the other books in this series. 

I'm supposed to write about my best or worst back-to-school experience from when I was a young girl. I could write about when I insisted to wear make-up in first grade - got teased and never did it again; or when we were given a shot the first day back and I crawled under the table to hide - got teased about it and was first to offer my arm the next time; or when I was waiting to get into the classroom and got a basketball in my face (didn't get teased about that one, but the pain was bad enough). Hey, I like to write optimistic, fun stories, but sadly I don't have too many of those from school. I KNOW I had a good time, because I had friends, but the bad times so outweigh the good because of their severity that I'm having a hard time remembering the good ones.

So I'm writing about my boy-friend (not boyfriend). We used to walk to school together every day for the first few years. We were best friends and despite everything, the first day back to school was always exciting. But there was a dark shadow looming over every day walking to and from school - three or four dark shadows in the form of older boys who lived in the neighborhood. They'd ambush my friend, chase him to school and I'd stand back with galactic fear in my heart every time. I was scared as hell of them. It confused me. I knew he didn't like the beatings, but he laughed when they were chasing him. It wasn't until much later when I read up on bullying that I learned that his behavior is very common among bullied kids, to pretend that they're not afraid and that they're part of the "fun". They did catch him often - and they did on that first day back - beat him up and then gave him a hard time for crying (all three to four of them calling him a crybaby because he got beat up - idiots). This happened day after day for years, starting from the age of six.

I'm probably putting a huge damper on the hop with this story, but this is what pops into my mind when I think "school" in relation to my own childhood. These bullies not only hurt my friend in his past and future; they also hurt me in my past and future. In all my years of therapy, I've been trying to pinpoint the origin of my anxieties and depression. When did I become scared, insecure and anxious? When did I start to worry about people being hurt and people dying? When did start feeling so helpless, like the whole world was big and bad and there was nothing I could do about it? When did I start blaming myself for everything, and when did it start feeling so that everything I tried to do was never good enough? 

It's only recently that I've been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There have been a number of events that have triggered the PTSD, but watching my friend being bullied by several older guys for years was the the first time I got PTSD, and the one that set my path for more anxiety and insecurity. I learned very early that people are dangerous and that I am but a teeny tiny person.

I've met four of those bullies in my grown-up years (they were six guys all together, but were usually only three-four at a time, always with the same two main bullies). Three of those I've met sent creepy crawlies down my back while I talked with the third (one of the two main bullies) and learned that he's actually a nice guy. He's the only one who doesn't scare me anymore, so I guess people can change.

Okay, onto lighter things. I'm giving away a copy of Hot Hands. Casper, the character in the story, faces his high school bullies in college, after two years away. Much of his internal struggle are feelings I've been dealing with (I was bullied too, by different kids). This is an erotic romance and it was an interesting challenge to write it that way. I also wanted to keep it light with humor so it wouldn't get too heavy with the serious matter of being bullied. Furthermore, I'm currently working on Cold Hands, the second part of the story. 

I will draw, contact and announce the winner on October 2nd. Please leave a comment on this blog post along with your email address.

For weeks, college student Casper has been the victim of sail-by goosing and groping. The problem is that Casper would very much like to get more than groped by those wonderful, big, hot hands. 

With a journal full of clues, he sets out to discover who his mystery groper is. However, he may be in serious trouble once he discovers the ominous identity.

Before we go, I'm inviting you to follow me on my blog (follow button to your right), facebook, Twitter, and newsletter. This is NOT mandatory to take part in the giveaway.

Want a free read? Half-Baked Promises is a free story I wrote for the M/M Romance Group on Goodreads. It can be downloaded in pdf, mobi and ePub :)

Happy hopping!

Wait... Are you looking for the GLBT Madness Hop? Scroll down, or click here. That's right, I'm doing TWO hops at the same time - different prizes. That should burn some calories :O You can take part in both contests, just comment on both posts :)

Please visit the other people taking part in the Back to School Bash:

The "Gay Accent" - It Exists!

The Scarlet Letter

A few months back, I read a blog entry by Zathyn Priest on the "gay accent". Up until then, I didn't know it was an actual accent. You may be thinking "No way. The whole idea of it is just offensive." It exists though and Zathyn talks about a theory as to why some men have it and others don't.

The thing is that Zathyn himself has that accent and has always had it. It increased when he hit puberty and he's always been very self-conscious about it, trying to eradicate it from his speech. So while some men who try to acquire it or have it and accentuate it, there are some who have it and hate it. Not surprising if they get bullied or mistreated for having it. An interesting fact is that there are gay and straight men who can have this accent, so it's not really based on the sexuality.

Anyway, Zathyn worked more on that blog article and posted the revised piece in the first edition of The Scarlet Letter, which is a newsletter for readers and writers of GLBTQ literature. They have all sorts of interesting material there and I'll be writing some articles for it in the future.

I'd like to quote a bit from Zathyn's article on the "gay accent":

"I started feeling extremely self-conscious when I spoke to people.  To sound like I did was distressing and I despised it.  It wasn’t a choice and I certainly wasn’t putting the accent on.  Many guys aren’t at all worried about it and, like I said, some even accentuate it.  For me, I wanted to curb it as much as possible.  It took about three years of continuous effort to get rid of the accent enough for me to gain confidence again in my speaking voice.  It meant being aware of inflections, of making a conscious effort to drop pitch, of taking stock of the way I pronounced different words, etc.  Naturally, as I’ve aged, my voice deepened more and I’m lucky enough to have a husky quality to it that helps counteract some more of the accent.  Even now, when I speak, I have to make that conscious effort to keep the accent to a minimum."

So, when you hear about a bullied teen being asked by the school to "tone down" their "gayness", it's not unlikely that they're talking about the accent. To that, Zathyn says:

"You may as well ask someone who doesn’t speak English as a first language to drop their French, German, or whatever accent."

Also, check this guy on YouTube. He talks about flamboyancy of gay men.

Bullying

Bullying is always a sore subject for me. I was bullied as a kid and I worry like hell it'll happen to my kids. Bullying has already made its way into two of my stories. I have no reason to believe it won't show up in more stories.

I'm posting this video in support of anti-bullying.