Why M/M Contemporary?

I'm guest blogging on No Boundaries Press today: Why M/M Contemporary?

Men are Not Emotional

Image credit

I keep seeing discussions and blog posts that make me want to speak out. This one, for example, and this one (really heartbreaking and just makes me angry).


It’s sad that comments like this are made every day: Men are not emotional. You can see it in the discussions that pop up now and then, and you can hear parents telling their sons that they can’t cry, that they need to be strong. The general idea is that all men are supposed to be “strong” and confident. They’re all supposed to like sports, drink beer, and thump their chests gorilla-style on a regular basis. They don't talk about how they feel and they most certainly don't show it. They don't cry - ever. Crying and talking is for girls. Lastly, male authors of m/m fiction write masculine men while female authors write emotional men (I'll get to this in the second part of this three-part series of articles).

Generalizations like these maintain ridiculous stereotyping that need to stop.

Some say that, sure, men can be emotional but they don't talk about their feelings. I'll buy this, up to a point, but I believe the behavior is more learned rather than instinctual. I've been trying to notice how the men around me behave and how they express themselves. Roughly 50% are outwardly emotional (some very) and the other 50% are able to hide it better. I'd say that maybe 40% express themselves verbally while the remaining 60% take it out on the gym equipment or close themselves off by staring at a computer screen for hours (you tell me if that's healthy). But if 50% of the guys I know are emotional and roughly 40% of them express themselves with words, can statements like "men don't talk about their feelings" and "men are not emotional" be true? I'd say no, when I'm seeing evidence on the contrary.

By this I'm not saying that men and women are the same. There are different hormones in play that make us tick differently. But hormone levels vary and we each have different life experiences that shape us, so it's wrong to say that men behave like this and don't behave like that. By saying so, people are maintaining the stereotype of the "ideal man". What does that do to guys who actually are emotional and have a hard time hiding it? It makes them targets because they aren't behaving "like men". I had a guy-friend when I was a kid. He went through daily bullying at the hands of older guys in the neighborhood. They tormented him because he cried easily. He cried easily because there was trouble at home and these guys kept beating him up. This went on for years and years, all because he didn't "act like a guy".

I like writing characters with strong emotions, or I’ll say it: I like writing emotional men. I also happen to like writing short, skinny men (twinks) because I happen to find them more attractive than big, butch men. I don’t know where people get the idea that all women want are  big, “strong” (emotionally and physically) men when so many of us are more attracted to those who aren't afraid to cry and have a slighter build. Harley Santos, the main character in my story, The Walls Have Ears, is emotional. He also happens to be short and skinny, so he’s a “stereotype” by some people’s standards. This is how young Harley came to me as I wrote the story, and I’m not ashamed of having written him. I’m very proud of him. He’s funny, cute, and quite the character. However, in many reviews people have complained that he’s overly emotional (because he cries), and that he’s girly (because he’s emotional and has a slight build). When I saw people saying that, I realized how unfair life is for guys like Harley.

We can't continue to put guys in cookie-cutters while so many don't fit in it. Cookie-cutters are not only limiting and unrealistic, they help maintain the stereotype that every man is expected to live up to. It's just not fair (and often damaging) to those who don't fit in the form.

I'm teaching my boys that it's okay to be in touch with their feelings and I encourage them to express themselves. I think it's extremely unhealthy to keep feelings bottled up and that it can easily lead to depression later in life. I think it's healthy for my boys to be able to identify how they're feeling. They've turned 5 this year (twins) and one is very open and emotional while the other keeps everything bottled up and very rarely talks about his feelings. The one who's locked up wasn't like that a year ago. He changed after he made a new friend at preschool who keeps saying things like "boys don't cry". Now, when he hurts himself, he cries so quietly that I barely hear him and he looks ashamed of his tears. It’s painful to watch. I have to persuade him to talk about how he's feeling if he looks worried and he seems relieved whenever he does open up. It’s an ongoing project, but I'm hoping that my positive encouraging will teach him that it's okay to talk.

Being in touch with one's feelings doesn't equal vulnerability or weakness, and being in touch with one's feelings doesn't mean you're a girl*. Emotional men are NOT weak, so toss out the cookie-cutters in real life and in gay fiction. Just because a male character is very emotional and expresses it doesn't make him unrealistic or "girly". Some men are emotional and there's nothing abnormal about it. People should be allowed to be themselves. I once heard the expression “Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out?” - I think that’s fitting to this subject.

*By saying that emotional men are "girly" also puts girls into a box with "emotional" stamped all over it. That's another stereotyping right there. Am I emotional? Yes, very. Is my cousin? Nope, at least not very. Does that make her a boy? No.

Here are links to my other posts in this series of posts:
Women Can't Write Realistic Men
Women Maintain Gay Stereotyping

Absolutely Eric Excerpt

Hi guys :) We have an "official" excerpt ready for Absolutely Eric! I'm really excited about sharing this story with the world. It'll probably always remain my favorite simply for Eric himself. 

Anyway, excerpt!

I browse through the aisles and aisles of shelves at the bookshop. I could spend the whole day browsing because I love stationery and read just about any genre. When I’m running my finger along a shelf in the classical section, enjoying the musty smell of books, I bump into someone who drops a whole lot of something at the impact. I fill my lungs and get ready to gush out apologies when I see who it is.

Black shoes, black pants, black woolen coat, sexy smile, cute nose, caramel skin, and deep brown eyes. My heart hurls into overdrive.

“Hey there, Eric. I didn’t expect to see you here. That looks so great on you,” he says, gesturing at my outfit.

“Cute, right?” is all I can think of saying.

“Yeah,” he says with one corner of his lips twisted into a smile. “Adorable.”

I get all tingly when he says stuff like that. Neither of us seems to know what to say next, so we dive down to gather his mountain of books. A shop assistant comes rushing with a hand basket for Alex.

I grab a number of romance novels and a few non-fics. “You sure are buying a lot of books. Is Terry that boring?”

Alex laughs and dumps some of the books into the basket. “No, I’m just scouting authors. We get a lot of queries, but sometimes you want to go on a spying mission to see if there’s anyone with great potential.”

“Ooh, spying mission? Hence the black outfit, right? I can’t wait to become an editor.”

Alex exhales a laugh. “What are you buying?”

“Gay romance,” I answer with a grin, thrusting a few covers in his face. “I like the humorous ones with a good plot. I hear these are excellent. Wanna borrow them after I’m done?”

Alex stuffs the rest his books in the basket and reads the cover of one of my novels while we stand up. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“You know, your publishing house doesn’t have a real focus on anything specific. Maybe you should be focusing on a few genres, like GLBT?”

He glances up from the book. “The sales are too low. It would be better to start a subsidiary and maybe go electronic only if I went into something like that.”

“Oh, yeah.” I take back the book and hand him the next. “You could specialize in high quality stories only. I hate it when I buy a romance that turns out to be about nothing. Then you could transfer the magazine over to the GLBT company and use it to advertise the books. Only you seriously need to change the name of the magazine. Gay Guys Magazine? Did you come up with that?”

“Yeah, I spent two months coming up with a name, and that’s the best I could do. Macy and the others weren’t much help either.”

I grab a pack of cute figure pencils on our way to the cashier.

“Honestly, anything would’ve been better.”

“Like?”

“Like, Glitter Guys Magazine,” I say, spreading my hands out in an arch while I visualize the name.

Alex bites his lower lip to suppress a laugh. “Glitter Guys?”

“Yeah, and you could pep it up a little. More free, fun, and fashion, less negative boring stuff. People would definitely buy that.”

“But the ‘negative boring stuff’ is important, too. It’s about serious issues facing our kind, you know?”

“Well yeah, but you could still pep it up. Less newspaper-y and more glitzy-magazine-y.”

“Maybe I should make you the chief editor of Glitter Guys Magazine, and if it goes well I could consider adding a GLBT department.”

“I’d turn the magazine’s sales around before you could say ‘bend me over and call me Kevin.’”

Alex laughs and takes his bag from the flush-faced cashier and thanks her with a nod.

“But seriously, the magazine is turning out to be too much work for me because I want to expand the company. Do you want to give it a go before I decide if I’m going to cancel it?”

“Really? Would I get better salary?” I stuff my hat on and fix my shades.

“Of course. Chief editors always get a better salary, but I wouldn’t expect you to start until after your finals.”

“That would be great!”

I can’t stop grinning. I’m feeling all gleeful about the prospects of being a real editor. And a chief editor at that.

“Want to talk specifics over coffee?” Alex asks.

Study for a test or have coffee with Alex? Why did I even hesitate?

We stroll through the park by the mall. The weather is surprisingly good for this time of year, and I even zip down my coat when the heat is too much. My body sways a little with the good beat of dance music playing somewhere close by, which has Alex smiling whenever he looks at me. Especially when I start humming along with it.

“So, that ex of yours. He’s totally different from Terry. I mean, he’s even shorter than I am, and that’s saying a lot at only five-six.”

Alex shrugs. “What can I say? Small guys usually catch my eye.”

I kick a loose rock ahead of me as we walk. “But why? Do you have a Tom Cruise fetish or something?”

“No,” Alex chuckles. “I guess I just find them more attractive, and they’re the perfect cuddle size.”

I smile. “But Terry isn’t short or a cuddler. I know that for a fact.”

Alex ducks a low tree branch while I sail right under.

“He makes up for that by being nice, thoughtful, and considerate. And very, very understanding,” says Alex.

I guess that means Terry forgave Alex for the make out incident at Clash last Friday.

“Plus he’s got a hot body,” I say with a tight smile.

Alex nods. “Yes, he does.”

I skip up on one of the many benches along the path and jump back down at the end of it.

“But I really prefer short and sweet over tall and buff,” he continues. “It’s always been like that.”

I get ready to jump onto the next bench.

“Plus, when I’m with someone as tall as Terry I can’t do this.” He yanks the fluffy hat off my head and holds it high in the air.

“Hey!” I protest, trying to look indignant while suppressing the giggles. “I may be small, but I make up for it in other ways.”

“Yeah? Like how?”

He dangles the hat just above my head, trying to bait me into making a grab for it.

“Like this!” I jump onto the bench and fling myself at Alex spider-monkey style. He instinctively drops the hat and catches me. As I sit in his arms with my legs on either side of his waist, I manage to grab the hat as it falls through the air. My shades hang askew so I remove them and stuff ’em into my pocket.

“See? I have a sixth sense for people’s weaknesses, and I don’t hesitate to use it against them.”

“You think you’re my weakness?” he asks, his face so close to mine. I can see that he’s freshly shaven and his usual smell of cologne and soap has my nostrils flaring as I inhale.

“Mmn,” I mumble, wracking my brain for something clever to say. “My sixth sense tells me that you would drop anything to help a person in need.”

Alex just looks at me for a moment without speaking and then smiles. “Looks like you’ve got me all figured out.”

I climb from his arms onto his back and wrap my arms around his neck. His arms automatically loop around my knees to support me.

“Yup, and because I got my hat back so easily you have to carry me over to that ice cream shop over there and buy me a triple-flavor.”

I rest my head on his shoulder and feel the vibration in his body as he speaks.

“Are you kidding? It’s too cold for ice cream.”

“Let’s see…” I say, ignoring his comment. “I’m in the mood for a mint chocolate chip, butter pecan, and pistachio almond with hot fudge.”

My hair sways back and forth when Alex starts walking towards the shop with me leeched on his back.

“That has to be the weirdest combo ever,” he says with a chuckle.

“Jeez, don’t trash it before you taste it. I bet you’re a lame-ass vanilla guy.”

“Mm, nope. I like strawberries.”

I smile against his shoulder while I inhale his scent again mixed with my strawberry-scented hair. Was that a double meaning there?

“FYI,” I say while he walks, “that’s a monstrous banana in my pocket that’s sticking into your back.”

“Didn’t think it was anything else.”

I grin and tighten my hold on him with both arms and knees.

The music gets louder the closer we get to the ice cream shop. I spot four black and two white girls showing each other dance moves by an old-fashioned boom box.

“Hey, that’s Brianna and Taylor from school.” I point at two of the black girls with long brown braids wearing identical clothes.

“Want to go and say, ‘Hi’?” Alex asks, already heading in their direction.

They jog over to us when they see me.

“So why aren’t you two studying for the surprise test tomorrow?” I ask when they’re close enough.

Brianna’s eyes grow large. “There’s a surprise test tomorrow?”

“Well, yeah,” I say, as if everyone should know by now. “History class.”

“How can it be a surprise test if you already know about it?” Alex asks, tightening his hold on my knees when I try to get down.

“A good student never reveals his sources,” I say.

Taylor pulls her long braid over her mouth when she giggles.

“And you’re not studying because…?” Alex asks.

Brianna puts a hand on her hip. “Because he’s a smart ass who always gets A+ in everything. He’s probably already memorized the book.”

“So not true,” I protest. “I still have a chapter to go.”

“Is this your boyfriend?” Taylor asks, glancing up at Alex while her sister bluntly checks him out.

“Yeah,” I say in my girl-chat voice, “isn’t he cute?” I reach forward and smooch Alex’s cheek.

Alex twitches and loosens his grip on my knees. I use the opportunity to slide down.

“Then you must be Rafael,” says Taylor and reaches out a hand for Alex to shake.

“I’m Alexander,” he says as he shakes it.

He only ever uses that name when he’s introducing himself to business colleagues, and hearing him say it now sends hot goose bumps crawling all over my skin.

Taylor’s eyes widen. “Eric, are you two-timing Rafael?”

“Now, why would you automatically jump to that conclusion? Maybe Rafael and I broke up?”

“Did you?” she asks.

I roll my eyes with a dramatic sigh. “No, we didn’t, and no, I’m not two-timing him. I’m not a sorority skank like you, Taylor.”

Taylor covers her mouth again and giggles.

“Well, maybe you would be if you’d followed through with that gayrority  idea of yours,” says Brianna.

We stroll over to the other girls who are watching us.

“They wouldn’t give me a house big enough to found one.”

“Why the hell would you need a big house? Aren’t there, like, five gay guys in our school?”

I purposefully snort. “That you know of. I, for one, know of loads and loads of closet cases who are just waiting for the right opportunity to come out. A gayrority would be a perfect place for them to learn and grow until they’re comfortable enough to go man hunting on their own.”

“Uh huh,” says Brianna. “And I bet you’d be the one to give them that personal guidance yourself?”

“Of course, I’d have to get some kinda repayment, but seriously, Henry from law took over the whole thing; he’s working on it.”

I grab Taylor and place my arm around her shoulders. “So, Taylor. Are you still seeing that gorgeous what’s-his-name with the big biceps?”

Brianna snorts. “She dumped his sorry ass. He asked if he could do Taylor and me at the same time, which is just gross.”

“But you’re identical twins. Wouldn’t it be like having sex with yourself?”

Brianna rolls her eyes. “Guys…”

“Oh, I know,” I say sympathetically as we stop by the quiet boom box. “We’re such bastards. One lover is never enough.”

“Girls, this is Eric; Eric this is the girls,” Brianna introduces. “Oh, and that’s probably one of Eric’s fuck buddies, Alexander.”

I glance up at Alex and snicker when I see his perplexed face. He meets my eyes, and I try to play it cool with a shrug.

“That’s Eric? Will you show us some of your dance moves?” one of the girl asks, walking along with the rest to surround us.

“I see my reputation precedes me, but I don’t wanna put you girls to shame.”

Brianna puts both her hands on her hips. “You’re so full of yourself, Gayman. Come on.”

Alex nudges my shoulder with his fist. “Yeah, come on, Gayman.”

I turn to him and stick my finger in his face. “I’ll have you know that if I were the superhero Gayman, I’d go home with Spiderman every night just to get to have sex on the ceiling. I’d be the awesome-est, sexiest hero and stun the villains with my wicked moves.”

“More like with what comes out of your mouth,” says Alex, shoulders shrugging with chuckles.

I give Alex my best Hugh Laurie glare before I turn to Brianna. “Fine, you evil twin from hell.” I shrug off my coat and dispose of my mittens, scarf, and hat. “But you girls have to dance too.”

“Fine,” Brianna says with a triumphant gleam in her ever scheming eyes. “What’ll it be?” Her baggy pants rumple as she squats down by the boom box.

I take my position on the square area of tiles that currently acts as a dance floor. “Anything with a good beat in it.”

“This one’s perfect for you,” Brianna mumbles and volumes up a remix version of Black Eyed Peas’ “Pump It.”

Locks of hair fly out of my hair tie as I shake my hips and do my thing. The girls try to copy me, and there’s a lot of laughing, a bit of falling, and a whole lot of body bumping.

“How about you, old man?” I ask Alex, who’s watching with a sexy smile on his face. “Know any moves?”

“Of course I do,” he calls back over the music. “I’m gay, aren’t I?”

I roll my eyes while he slides off his coat, revealing one of the pink shirts I made him buy. So damn sexy.

Easter Hop Winners!

Hi guys,

So sorry for the delay. My little helpers weren't home and I wanted them to draw the winners. Well now they have, after having helped me fold each ticket.

Funnily enough, no one asked for the same prize:

Ella Jade: Grade-A-Sex Deal
Joanne B: Hot Hands
Brandi: A Life Without You
Tiggasmum: The Walls Have Ears

Hope you all had a great weekend :) The next blog hop I'm participating in is the Hop Against Homophobia! That's right, it'll be over 200 m/m authors, reviewers and publishers giving out m/m-related prizes (mostly books).

Stay tuned for tomorrow where I'm posting an excerpt from Absolutely Eric!

Hoppy Easter Blog Hop - Giveaway

Closed! I'll draw winners in a minute.


It's that time again! Easter! I don't know how the rest of the world celebrates it, but Icelanders go out and buy a hollow chocolate egg stuffed with assorted candies. The shell is thick and yummy and I'm salivating just writing about it. And it's not just some plain old chocolate either! Well, you can get plain milk chocolate, but also dark chocolate, crunchy chocolate, and chocolate with salt liquorice bits in it (don't ask, it's an Icelandic thing, but it's YUMMY).

Anyway, I'm here to give away stuff! Not chocolate eggs, but something even better: chocolaty guys ;)

A lot of you already have read my books and it wouldn't be much fun to win a copy of something you've already read. Yes, I could just replace it with a different story, but this will be easier:

I'm offering an e-book to four winners and the winners get to choose which book they'd like. 

To be entered into the contest, please comment below with a way for me to reach you, and please state which book you'd like to win if you win :) That's it! Of course, I would love it if people followed my blog, facebook page, twitter, etc., but that's not required. Oh and hey, I know I said I'd have an up-and-running newsletter before this blog, but...well, I've been busy. Next time!

Anyway, here's what's up for grabs:

For weeks, college student Casper has been the victim of sail-by goosing and groping. The problem is that Casper would very much like to get more than groped by those wonderful, big, hot hands. 

With a journal full of clues, he sets out to discover who his mystery groper is. However, he may be in serious trouble once he discovers the ominous identity, and it’s not because of the light bondage the groper seems to prefer. 

When College professor Daniel Corrigan was brutally kicked out of his home after revealing his true sexuality to his wife, he had to make a whole new life for himself. For the first time in two years Daniel’s main heartache isn’t the none-existent relationship with his two kids, but the fact that the grade-A-sex deal with his student Troy Anderson is about to expire. After a whole semester of office fun, Troy has managed to squeeze his way into the core of Daniel’s soul. Daniel, however, is positive he’s nothing more to Troy than a teacher who can modify a grade. 

Short and scrawny college student Harley Santos has a strange relationship with the guy on the other side of his bedroom wall. For weeks, the two have been masturbating to each other’s voices, but they have never met in person. 

When Harley’s roommate (Ryan) is asked out on a date by one of his neighbors, Harley is devastated that his wall-mate mistook not-hot Harley for super-hot Ryan. Helping Harley through his heartache is Tasha Novokov, the other neighbor, who is tall, dark, and impossibly handsome.

When Harley’s affections shift to Tasha, his heartache hits an all time high because with all the girls hanging around, Tasha has to be straight.

Jesse's like a bar of soap: the tighter Adam holds on, the faster Jesse slips away. Or that's how it feels to Adam. It doesn't help that Jesse has a girlfriend back home and claims to be straight, but there's no way with all the sparks and physical intimacy flying between the two roommates. 

When Adam believes he has reached his ultimate happiness, the bedroom walls come crashing down with a visit from Jesse's girlfriend. 

Now Jesse has to decide if he can come to terms with his sexuality, while Adam has to learn to accept that Jesse might never be able to crawl out of the closet.

If you must buy them NOW, you can find purchase info on my website: www.ericapike.com, but of course you should wait until after the giveaway ;)

Before you go, here are three notable things:

- Check out the other countless authors taking part in this contest (they've even marked the m/m ones!).

- Please stay tuned for the m/m-only blog hop on May 17th: Hop Against Homophobia. We have 190 m/m authors, reviewers, and publishers signed up and if you're any of those and would like to take part, the sign-up is still open ;)

- Want to win a copy of my May release, Absolutely Eric? Yeah, it's the cutie below. Go to Goodreads and add it to your to-read list and you might be able to snag one of the two copies I'm offering! If you don't have a Goodreads account and don't want to sign up for one, don't worry, I'm offering a copy in the Hop Against Homophobia ;)

Okay! Go stuff yourselves with chocolaty men - I mean eggs!