LGBTQ Push Back Giveaway!

Hi guys,

I'm taking part in a massive giveaway to try to raise money for LGBT organizations. What you need to do to try to win one of the 224 books offered is to donate to an LGBT organization of your choice (but this is in answer to the Indiana pizza place disgrace, so an Indiana LGBT organization would be nice - but not necessary), comment about it on this site: LGBTQ Push Back, and do the Rafflecopter (on their site). 

Here's a direct quote from the organizers of this fundraiser:

"Changing laws and attitudes takes time, and right now there are LGBT people in need who can’t afford to wait. The sooner we can help them, the better, and the more resources we have, the more help we can offer.

That’s why 224 authors, review bloggers, and publishers have got together to offer something wonderful: a reward for people who do a little bit to give back to charity. Instead of spending $5 on a book in the next two weeks, give that $5 to an LGBT charity of your choice, tell us about it in the comments, and go into the draw to win a book from one of our participating donors. And because it’s not all about money, if you can’t make a donation then please take a moment to share a charity’s links and tell us about that instead.

Three fundraisers have been set up to counter the hateful effects of Indiana’s SB 101. #Pizza4Equality is aiming to match the money raised by *that* pizza parlor, with all donations going to Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Fund. Another fundraiser is aiming to raise $100,000 for Indiana Youth Group. Finally, Planting Peace is trying to raise $100,000 to provide beds for homeless LGBT people.

Please consider giving to one of these deserving fundraisers, or any other LGBT charity anywhere in the world. We’re not telling you where you should donate your time and money, only asking that you do. The smallest things can make the biggest difference, and together, we can do something incredible.

The Charity Giveaway will run from the 18th of April until the 1st of May. [This last emphasis is mine]"

Writing in the Closet (HAHAT - Giveaway)

Welcome to Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia 2014! Today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (or IDAHO, as it's called). Even though the names don't contain "Biphobia," we're fighting against that as well.

I've thought long and hard about what to write about this year. The purpose of the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia is twofold: To spread awareness of homophobic, biphobic and transphobic discrimination, and to stand together against discrimination of our LGBT books. I'd like to address both today.

There's been some nasty development of LGBT rights (or lack there of) in the world since last year's hop: 

Russia passed an anti-gay law that prohibits all “propaganda” of homosexuality to minors. That means that people can’t do a gay pride or hold an LGBT poster out on the street because someone might take a picture of it and post it on the internet where a minor might see it (this actually happened and the sign-holder got arrested). As a result, violence against LGBT people in Russia has increased (watch this video at your own risk). The Olympic Committee decided to let Russia host the winter Olympics despite their charter’s principle 6 that says “Any form of discrimination with regard to a country or a person on grounds of race, religion, politics, gender or otherwise is incompatible with belonging to the Olympic Movement.” Way to stick to your guns, Olympics Committee. Athletes and audience risked fines and possible imprisonment if they wore anything to the games that could be considered LGBT support (basically rainbow stuff). Some did it anyway, either discretely or blatantly. Power to the ones who did!

I posted about Uganda’s “Kill the Gays Bill” last year, and the Ugandan parliament has accepted the bill. The first thing the papers did was post a list of known LGBT people who are now in grave danger not only from the police but also from the general public. This law is inhumane, to say the least! It’s extremely hard to fight it because apparently the majority of Ugandans support this law. All I can do is continue to spread the word and donate money. I'm making another $50 donation to Icebreakers Uganda in honor of the day.

On the other hand, defeats are often met with victories. Russia, for example, watched the Eurovision Song Contest (the largest song competition in the world) and saw Conchita Wurst win. That’s the beautiful lady with the beard. Conchita was born a man but identifies as gender neutral. So, a lot of Russian minors watched a gender neutral person win, despite the creator of Russia’s anti-gay law 's insistence that Russia boycott Eurovision because of Conchita, claiming that Eurovision was gay propaganda. Conchita’s speech? “This night is dedicated to everyone who believes in a future of peace and freedom. You know who you are. We are unity. And we are unstoppable.”

That’s right, Conchita!

Some of you would be amazed to know that a lot of authors of LGBT literature write in the closet. Some can’t tell their bosses because they might get fired, some can’t tell their families or they might get ostracized. Some readers can’t even tell their significant other that they’re reading LGBT literature. These are mostly heterosexual people, by the way.

Copyright: NinaMalyna via DepositPhotos

I’m halfway in the closet, so to speak. My friends and family know about my books and fully support me. I think that most Icelanders would support me, however, I live in a small town and that’s why I’m afraid to fully come out. Twice this year, families have been driven out of town because of social media bullying by the inhabitants. Once because a man was posting naked pictures of himself on the internet where he was playing with his butt (or putting stuff up it). People went nuts online even though the guy wasn't targeting anyone with those pictures, the national media got involved (it's a small country...) and he ended up moving away. A more recent example is a teacher who was found guilty of bullying a student. The teacher's entire family – including his two young daughters – was bullied so bad that they've sold their house and are moving to the city (again, the national media got involved). This is why I’m afraid to announce on my private facebook account that I a) write, and b) write books that contain erotic elements. If you’re different, you’re talked about and it can either become a quiet gossip or turn into vulgar media violence and disdain. I don't care if I get talked about, but what I fear is that my young sons will get bullied. As you can see, my town doesn't exactly have a good track record and it appears that the national media (albeit the more gossipy papers) loves to shine a light on my little home town. I can only see the headlines: "Single Mother of Two Young Boys Writes Porn" and a quote in the gossipy paper "I'm outraged. My kids have been playing with her boys!" I don't know, maybe I'm just being paranoid. I'll never truly know how people will react until I reveal it. 

So, the question remains, do I risk my sons getting bullied or do I come out and announce that I’m a proud writer of gay-male romance? It’s a difficult choice, one that I keep debating in my mind. Some days I feel like writing a coming out post because it’ll be liberating and I'll be able to stand tall, but other days I can’t bear even thinking about it because of my 6-year-old sons. Unlike LGBT people, I do have a choice here. I can tell you this though: If I lived in the city, I would've announced it ages ago. Gotta love the anonymity in populated places.

So, this is a bit disjointed post, but I wanted to include bits from both purposes of the hop. Now for the giveaway part: 

I'm giving away eBook copies of every book I've written that contain the subject of homophobia (internal or external) to one winner. That's a copy of:

A Life Without You (internal homophobia)

Black Hurricane (internal)

Hot Hands (external) - this one is actually free for all

Cold Hands (internal/external)

Grade-A-Sex Deal (external)

Welcome Brother (external)

Little Stalker (internal). 

That's seven books of twelve that contain the subject of homophobia, so obviously the subject is dear to me. What you have to do is leave a comment below and a way for me to reach you (disguised email address, e.g. emailaddress at gmail dot com, or a link to your facebook page). I will use random.com to choose the winner on the 25th and contact him/her myself.

There are 130 other people taking part in this hop, so please check them out:

Hop Against Homophobia: David Bahati, Author of Uganda's "Kill the Gays" B...

Hop Against Homophobia: David Bahati, Author of Uganda's "Kill the Gays" B...: In addition to yesterday's post about the "Kill the Gays" bill in Uganda, there are excellent Youtube videos of MSNBC's Rachel Maddow's interview with David Bahati, the author of the bill. These are from last year when David Bahati came to the USA to try to find understanding among the Americans (as in, educating USA about the necessity of this bill).

(Please click the Hop Against Homophobia link above to see the videos).

Hop Against Homophobia: Witch Hunt in Uganda: "Kill the Gays"

Free stock photo by Jason Aaberg.

I'm re-blogging this message from the Hop Against Homophobia site. Please, please go there and sign the petitions to prevent this bill from passing - or if it passes, to take action against Uganda to try to force them to change their minds.

Hop Against Homophobia: Witch Hunt in Uganda: "Kill the Gays": ... a horrible bill is being pushed through the Ugandan Parliament and is expected to go into effect this December. They call it a Christmas gift to the Ugandan nation. The bill's been referred to as "Kill the Gays". This is not only terrible, horrible news for the LGBT community, but also disastrous to humanity and human rights.

...

Death penalty:

- to repeat offenders of homosexuals acts

- to people who engage in homosexual acts with a minor

- to people who are suspected of "aggravated homosexuality" and have HIV

Prison sentence:

- to those suspected of homosexual activity

- to those who do not report homosexual activity within 24 hours

- to those suspected of "promoting" homosexuality

- to anyone who aids and/or abets a homosexual (e.g. renting to a homosexual)

In addition:

- all people suspected of homosexual activity and arrested must undergo HIV testing.

- former residents suspected of homosexuality may be extradited and sentenced.

That's a witch hunt!

Happy National Coming Out Day!

The National Coming Out Day on Facebook

Today is the National Coming Out Day and I decided to blog about it to show my support. 

I can't even begin to imagine the fears going through the minds of closeted people. Coming is often easier said than done. Some people grow up in closed-minded communities. There's fear of rejection from families, friends, school mates, work buddies, church, fellow hobby people, and the whole community. Coming out in one country can be easier than coming out in another. Coming out in an area of a city can be more difficult than coming out in another area of the same city. There are so many factors to consider for people who are considering coming out. What they all have in common though is the fear of being discovered and the fear of being rejected. Many even hate themselves for being who they are. Many just want to die.

It's easy to say just forget about everything and come out! You'll feel so much better! True, some people do feel better after coming out, but there are others who lose their whole support network.

Am I saying stay in the closet? No, I'm saying come out in your own time, when you're ready. Try to remember that things will get better and easier in the future. Someday being LGBT will be considered as natural as being black or white. Remember that those who discriminate and try to stop the progress of LGBT rights are living on the wrong side of history. Just hang in there :) If all else fails and you're old enough, move to a gay-friendly city and find a new life along with new friends. Hey, if you came out and everything is falling apart around you, you have nothing to lose, right?

But wait, I can being to imagine what it's like. I do know a little bit about being in the closet. I write m/m books and although I don't expect to be shunned for it, I don't always say what exactly it is that I write. Why? Because I write erotic romance, and when people hear gay literature, they immediately jump to erotica (it's just how thing are right now, if people hear "GLBT" most will think "sex"). I'm a shy person by nature. I always have been. People assume I'm a little goodie-goodie who would never even have erotic thoughts! However, it's been 10 months since I published my first m/m and I have started to tell people little by little. One person here, one person there. I have never, ever gotten a negative reaction. I don't know if it's the fact that people are just generally interested that I'm writing stories and publishing in the USA or if they're just okay with m/m. Many ask "why" and I answer "because it interests me". Those who are closest to me know what I write. People who I meet and ask me about what I do get to hear that I write books. I leave it at that unless they ask more (and then I say, directly translated: I write romance stories about two men).

I've been wondering if I should announce it on my personal facebook timeline, but I've been holding back because my sons will start school next year and we live in a small town. I can just hear the other kids make fun of them for what I write. If I were living in the city I would have no qualms about announcing my career - even to the people who live in this small town (a town I grew up in). The city gives a certain anonymity and not everyone knows who you are and it's unlikely that the kids at school would ever hear about what I write. That's not the case in my small town. So I'm staying in the closet with one foot out for now. Maybe next year I'll decided to to announce it, but I feel that now is not the time. 

The Icelander in Me

I think it‘s time I explain a few things about myself. I was born and raised in Iceland. I lived in Denmark for three and a half years, but other than that – and some overseas vacations – I've been in Iceland, around Icelanders my entire life. 

The thing about Icelanders is that we‘re pretty straight forward people with straight forward humor. That means a lot of things, but I‘m going to talk about two: taboos and humor.

Iceland is very advanced when it comes to taboos. That is to say, for not having many taboos. Iceland is first and foremost in Europe, where there are less taboos than in the USA, and Iceland is also a part of the Nordic countries where there are even less taboos than in a lot of other European countries. 

I was a teen when Iceland‘s biggest pop star, Paul Oscar, became popular. He was a phenomena that no one had seen in Iceland before (or since). He not only had unique music, but he was gay and proud of it. He has helped push things out of the closet when it comes to LGBTQ talk and today LGBTQ talk isn't taboo at all in Iceland. It is freely discussed in media and among people. It is why I sometimes discuss LGBTQ matters that make some people take a step back...and ask if I have a right to discuss these matters. This makes me stop and think every time because while the discussion may seem innocent to me, it may be a sensitive matter for other people, so I start to wonder if I should really be discussing it. But then there's the fact that everyone has a right to discuss whatever they want to, as long as they're not harming other people while doing it.

There are other things that are in no way taboo here, like the talk of sex. We don’t even hide that sort of talk from our teenagers. Most of us don’t even freak out if our kids catch a glimpse of something erotic, not that we’re actually showing them pictures of naked people - of course not; they’re children - but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they accidentally caught a glimpse of it. 

Now, humor: Danish humor is not unlike the Icelandic humor: a bit sarcastic, jabbing, and make-fun-of-yourself. Like the Danes, Icelanders have a knack for making fun of themselves. We’ve pretty much had to, since we’ve lived under very harsh conditions since the settlement years. It is said that joking makes life easier, and I believe this has been a motto for many Icelanders through the decades.

Until World War II we were pretty isolated from the world. It’s a small country, 300,000 people’ish today (probably around 230,000 in WWII), and when you meet someone new it’s pretty much guaranteed you’ll have a joined acquaintance. With that kind of familiarity it’s easy to see how the jabbing humor has developed, like it would between siblings. Almost anything goes and not many things are off limits when it comes to joking. What I’m trying to say here is that I’ll joke about things, and talk about subjects without much reserve. To some it may seem insensitive, but it’s not meant that way. I realize not everyone’s humor is like this – far from it – but I’m hoping by explaining this that people will take my humor in stride and not take the things I say personally. I try to be careful, considerate to the fact that this kind of humor is...weird and offensive to different cultures/people, but sometimes things slip out before I can stop myself.

So why the archer woman in the skimpy outfit? Because my humor, comments and taboo-less discussions can sometimes seem like a sharp arrow at a target. A jab. A negative thing. I apologize in advance for that. I try not to be offensive, but it’s sometimes hard to see where the lines are. I understand that some people are sensitive when it comes to matters of sex and LGBTQ talk. Me being me, and raised in this surrounding, I go all out and don’t hold much back. This may seem insensitive to some people, and I’ve gotten into trouble for it more than once, but those who know me or have gotten to know me know that I mean no disrespect by it. It's hard for people to change who they are and I’m not sure I’d want to change this openness in me. I never talk about LGBTQ things in a pejorative manner. If I talk about gay men in leather, I talk about gay men in leather in a positive way and I don’t see how such a discussion can be negative or should not be talked about (just like I don't see how it would be wrong to talk about straight women in leather). Not talking about it would make it a taboo, and, yeah, you know where I stand on that.

Onto whether or not I have a right to discuss LGBTQ matters: Am I harming LGBTQ people by it? I don't think so. I'm of the belief that the more matters are discussed, the better, especially if things are talked about in a positive light.

As I've said, I am aware that there's a big difference in culture and/or personal opinion when it comes to these things. However, I will still be myself and I can't change my humor. That means I will probably continue to rub people the wrong way in the future. That said, next week is “Twink Week”. Yup, I said it: twink. I can already hear the bones crunching, as I'm pretty sure I'm stepping on some toes, but I’m going to do this in honor of next week’s release, Absolutely Eric. Eric, after all, is a very proud twink and I want to be able to discuss twinks in a positive way, just like "bears" are usually discussed in a positive way. So please, if the word or discussion of twinks offends you, you may want to stay away from this site next week, since I have fellow authors stopping by to discuss twinks. If you don’t mind the discussion then come on over and make yourself comfortable :)

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